As a self-leadership coach, I am a pragmatic and optimistic person. I enjoy creating self-leadership coaching tools that inspire people to take charge of their lives. Self-leadership is the ability to consciously influence our own thoughts and behaviours in order to achieve our personal goals in life.
For the past 10 years, coaching clients on how to turn their aspirations into reality, I was asked to create a ‘road map’ and guidelines to assist them in achieving their goals, realize their dreams and guide them through life’s challenges and obstacles. My answer has always remain the same: no method will work unless the individual is ready and believes in their capability to welcome the change required to build their dreams. The challenge that my clients faced was realizing that wanting to change or make something happen in their lives is not enough to get unstuck and moving forward towards achieving their goals. To start the process, they needed external guidance, support and tools to develop their self-confidence, self-esteem and self-motivation that are required to make these changes happen. Confidence and courage are the magical qualities required to trust and believe in oneself, motivation on the other hand is required to believe in the endless possibilities available to us. These three essential qualities allow us the emotional way forward. Without these, no matter how much we want to make a specific change in our life, we actually believe that we can’t at the same time.
Confidence and courage come from within us, from our internal awareness – our values. These are principles that are intrinsic to us and that help us navigate our life naturally. Fear itself comes from our external awareness – our brain’s limbic system (emotional brain which supports a variety of functions including emotions, behaviours, motivation, etc.). In essence, fears are extrinsic stories and patterns we adopted from our families, friends, society as a whole. In fact, our emotional brain keeps repeating our fear patterns for a very simple reason – because it recorded those at a time we were challenged in life and every time it senses we are in similar situations, it wants to protect us by reminding us of the original emotion felt at that specific time. Agreeing with such patterns holds us back in life, taking us into a downward pull of following the path of least resistance. Recognizing these patterns for what they are and choosing to change our thought process may be difficult but with practice possible by telling ourselves such affirmations as: this is just a thought, let it go, relax, you’ve got this under control… moves us forward in life. Once we understand how important it is to build resilient boundaries that respect our values and needs in life, we learn how to manage fear as an external factor as one of the patterns that forms part of our life story versus internalizing it. We learn to focus on what heals us – our strengths. We learn to redefine our weaknesses as part of the uniqueness that makes us who we are – part of our essence that needs to be developed and reshaped as part of our evolution as human beings. We learn to forgive what we think of ourselves, and what is said about us as we realize it is irrelevant since we are all perfect in our imperfectness.
So to help my clients achieve their goals, I developed a self-leadership coaching approach – the Choice Life Approach™. The Choice Life Approach™ illustrates that being happy in life is at the centre of our being as individuals – it is our raison d’être. In order to experience a fulfilling and happy life, we must balance all aspects that make us human beings. Our approach shifts the way we see and think of ourselves, situations and challenges in life – from negative to positive thinking (victim to victor mindset). Our self-leadership coaching tools and techniques redirect our 3-brain system to focus on the endless possibilities available to us thereby offering up new perspectives and creating different results – opportunities instead limiting the choices available to us. How is this achieved? Check out how we can help you get back on your path to living a fulfilling and happy life with our 3-step strategy and S.O.U.L. Practice™ (Simply notice your thoughts; Open your mind to possibilities; Understand life’s cycles and rhythms – choices, change, patterns, behaviours, habits; and, Let go of what no longer serves you or your purpose in life). Don’t do it alone – ask for help to get you started.
Knowing how many responsibilities we all have to juggle in life, I knew the structure I would create had to be practical and sensible. So, without further ado… the Choice Life Approach™ was created. It’s based on our model (the foundation and structure for our approach), followed by our strategy (a plan of action to follow), and our modus operandi – our S.O.U.L. Practice™ (suggested guidelines which can be used on its own but more effective with self-leadership coaching techniques and tools).
Throughout our life, some experiences present themselves as challenges and obstacles. These can overshadow our good intentions in life. When this happens, our S.O.U.L. Practice™ helps you realign your thoughts and actions with the essence of who you are and how you want to experience life.
I consistently strive to be the best version of myself each and every day. Some days I’m successful – others not so much! I’ve come to realize and appreciate how much I learn from the not-so-much days. I learn that each decision I make from the choices I have available is based on the information I have at that specific time and place. With each decision, comes a new experience. With each experience, I welcome change. From change, I gain new knowledge and with this knowledge, I evolve as a person and am able to help others with similar experiences. When facing life’s polarities – positive and negative experiences, I remember that this is how we human beings learn and evolve as a person in life.
I sincerely hope our Choice Life Approach™ can help you get from where you are to what you want to achieve in life. How to become who you know in your heart and soul to be. Remember, asking for help is not a failure, it is part of being human and part of our journey towards reaching our goals and realizing our dreams in life. If I can help you build your trust and confidence in this process by giving you a little guidance such as how and where to begin on your journey or which self-leadership tools to use along this process, please don’t hesitate to contact me as it would be my privilege to do so.
The following is a glossary referencing words appearing within our work and tools on the pages of this website. It is provided to facilitate your reading.
Attention: the act or state of applying the mind to something, notice, observing
Authenticity: to be genuine, real, honest, true and trustworthy.
Beliefs: feelings of certainty – two kinds of beliefs, empowering and limiting
Brain: an organ of soft nervous tissue contained in the skull of vertebrates, functioning as the coordinating centre of sensation and intellectual and nervous activity.
Choice: the act of choosing, selecting
Connectedness: a feeling of belonging
Courage: the ability to do something that frightens one, bravery, fearlessness
Courtesy: the showing of one’s attitude and behaviour towards another
Decision: a determination arrived at after consideration
Integrous: honest, decent
Intention: the act of directing one’s attention to…, a determination to act in a certain way
Mind: the element of a person that enables them to be aware of the world and their experiences, to think, and to feel; the faculty of consciousness and thought.
Needs: something required for a safe, stable and healthy life – of necessity, obligations, essential
Self-confidence: trust in one’s personal judgment, ability to achieve goals.
Self-determination: making choices and decisions based on our own preferences and interests. To be goal-oriented.
Self-esteem: a person’s overall subjective emotional evaluation of their worth. An attitude, positive or negative beliefs about oneself.
Self-leadership: the ability to consciously influence our own thoughts and behaviours in order to achieve our personal goals in life.
Self-motivation: is the force that drives someone to do things, to achieve something because of one’s own enthusiasm or interest. Ability to do what needs to be done without influence from others. Not requiring encouragement even when being challenged.
Self-respect: pride and confidence in oneself as a human being. Behaving with honour and dignity.
Self-reliance: a feeling of trust that someone has in his or her own efforts and abilities. Able to do things for yourself.
Values: core principles that guide us, fundamental beliefs, a rule of code
Wants: wishes, have a desire to possess
Let’s make the world a better place.
It starts with you investing in yourself.
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