Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do. -Brené Brown
We all know that making changes in our life is not easy. Yet, it is both required and healthy as part of our mental, emotional and physical development. In fact, we are totally wired to grow, learn and experience through changes. The only bumps in the road is that we develop resistance to it because of values, beliefs and patterns we adopt along our journey through life. And unfortunately, fears may be created from these and stop us dead in our tracks.
Trust me, there is no need to be afraid. It’s not meant to be difficult either. As Mike Dooley so cleverly put it…
Imagine if you will… holding a loved one in the palm of your hands. Feel how you are protecting them with your love. Now imagine seeing their life playing out right there in the palm of your hands. Imagine feeling their joy, their sadness, and their fears. Imagine wanting nothing but to see their dreams realized. Imagine this loved one is you and you are being loved, cared for each and every time there is a change in your life, protected and given every chance you dare to take that will bring you closer to experiencing living out your purpose, writing and directing your own story, your life. This is life. This is what this universe wants for us. Change is part of it – positive or negative. There is always something to be learnt and experienced from it and later on, help others with it.
When changes occur in your life, tell yourself that all changes happen in order for you to be the best expression of yourself – the best that you can be. Think of what is outlived in your life, a part of you that you want to let go of but are too afraid to do so. Llisten to your thoughts around this change, since thoughts are the language of our brain and also pay close attention to your feelings around the change as feelings are the language of your body. What is your body telling you? Perhaps it does not want to change because it’s comfortable with a certain belief and habitual pattern your old self created – in other words, your way of living. All you know is that the emotions your are experiencing have you feeling lost. You see, that’s what your belief system and the patterns you adopted around them want you to think and feel… they are only trying to protect you by vetting any new information and experience through your boundaries you created for yourself. The thing is, if you are feeling lost or uncomfortable, your self is telling you it’s time to grow some more because some of your beliefs and/or patterns may no longer serve you, who you are at the present and who you want to become. Start thinking about what is unlived in your life and start by taking little actions toward making these unlived experiences happen for yourself.
I encourage you to sit with your emotions, feel your fears that surface at times of change and identify the source of your fears… why you feel uncomfortable with the unknown. Listen to the answers you will be given and write them down.
Take a deep breath and another. Release any anxiety that you created around your fear as life is about making space for new adventures, new experiences.
Mother Teresa wrote:
Just sit. Notice where you feel hard and sit with that. In the middle of that hardness you’ll find anger; sit with that.
Go to the centre of the anger and and you’ll probably come to sadness.
Stay with the sadness until it comes to vulnerability.
Keep sitting with what comes up. The deeper you dig, the more tender you become.
Raw fear can open to the wide expanse of genuineness, compassion, gratitude and acceptance in the present moment.
A tender heart appears naturally when you are able to stay present.
From your heart, you can see the true pigment of the sky, you can see the vibrant yellow of the sunflower and the deep blue of your daughters’ eyes.
A tender heart does not block out rain clouds, or tears, or dying sunflowers.
Allow both beauty and sadness to touch you. This is love, not fear.
Most importantly, keep your heart and soul open, and love yourself and others no matter what the outcome of the changes you will make.